You know that I'm not a person who writes such long stories, but you have earned it. So Sakshi Nagvanshi, I knew you before you knew who I was. That's the honest truth. I wasn't exactly the popular kid walking into CMS in Class 11 with a reputation. I was just another face in the crowd, and you were already someone people noticed because kitni ladkiya sab sports khelti thi?? So for a while, during class 9-10 summer camps I could see 2 girls jumping and playing something or the other things.

The first time we actually talked was during a volleyball match and even then, it wasn't really a conversation. It was just figuring out which team you were on and whether your team was going to crush mine. I was a volleyball player, you were there, and honestly that was it. Nothing happened. Life moved on. But then came Chandigarh.

I don't know how much you remember about that school trip, but I remember a lot. The train journey, the hotel chaos, the travel jokes, the way you laughed at things that shouldn't have been funny but somehow were. That trip did something. I came back thinking, okay, she's funny. Like actually funny. Not trying-to-be-funny funny. The kind that comes out naturally because you see things differently. And from that point something shifted. We started talking. You started saying hi. I think I called you on my birthday. I'm not entirely sure you came, class 12th exams probably had something to say about that. But it didn't matter because destiny, as it turns out, had already made its plan.

Same college. National PG College. And not just the same college but roll numbers sitting right next to each other. Three years, right beside you. I want you to really understand what that meant to me at the time. I walked into that college knowing nobody. No friends, no familiar faces, genuinely stressed about how I was going to survive three years of this. And then I looked to my side and there you were, like some kind of cosmic joke that actually worked out. You made everything easier. Exams handled. Notes you somehow always knew where they were, unlike me who was definitely the one going "kiske notes churane gaye ho." You didn't make college life comfortable, you made it possible. I actually made your friends my friends as I was roaming around with a group of 5 girls but I want you to know, for all the times I was a badtameez, for past birthdays I have missed, every time I made you upset or didn't give you the attention you deserved, every stupid thing I did while "just going with the flow," I'm really sorry. I was a noob.

Then third year ended and we lost touch again. Just birthday wishes and festival messages. You know how it goes. Life moves fast and you don't realise who you're slowly drifting from until something brings it back.

That something was me sitting alone in America.

I had two, maybe three friends and as a person like me who earlier had 10-15 close friends, all just forgot about me. But you were genuinely checking on me from home. You were one of them. And that hit differently than I expected it to. Because it's one thing to have friends who check in when it's convenient. It's another thing to have someone who checks in when you're eight thousand miles away and there's a twelve-hour time difference and honestly no real reason to. You did it anyway. That's when I knew, you actually care. Not because you have to. Not because we're in the same place. But because that's just who you are.

And from that, a whole new version of this friendship began. One where I got to actually know you, not just the girl sitting beside me in college, but you. The real Sakshi. The real chota don. The one who says "yarr" and "beh" and "thk h" in every third message and somehow it never gets old. The one who corrects people's spelling and autocorrect errors in real time, including mine, which I have slowly realised is your version of saying you're paying attention. The one who talks about orchids and then buys them for yourself because why wait for someone else. The one who has watched Harry Potter nine times and doesn't apologise for it. The one who loves suspense, horror and thrill in movies, watches half of them with eyes covered, and then recommends them to you anyway. The one who wants hot chocolate with brownie and ice cream and galloti kababs, specifically, in that combination. The one who dances, genuinely, freely, completely, even while doing brush in the morning, and doesn't need an audience for it to mean something. The one who picks 5 people for her birthday party and calls it perfect. The one who says "flowers aren't a symbol of love" and then in the same breath says orchids are your favourite and you buy them for yourself because you deserve them. The one whose ideal evening is chai, maybe a drive, maybe some games, maybe a good conversation, nothing more, nothing less.

For this birthday, I also happen to know you have already planned your entire outfit. A satin pink and white shirt from Get Gorgeous, blue flare jeans, golden small earrings, a bracelet, and white heels. Straight hair. Natural glow photos in sunlight. You found the shirt after thinking it was lost in packing and decided it was a sign. Typical Sakshi. Even the universe is on your wardrobe committee.

You also once told me "mai sirf calligraphy jaanti hu" like it was nothing, like knowing how to make something beautiful with your own hands is a small thing. It is not a small thing. And you sleepwalked the night before one of your most important exams, panicked inside the hall despite having the best mock scores, and still showed up. That is not someone who is ordinary. That is someone who keeps going even when their own body is conspiring against them.

I know you as someone who keeps your circle so small it's almost invisible from the outside but inside it, you're all in. I know you as someone who will remember exactly what you or I said four years ago and bring it back at 2am when you need a point in the discussion. I know you as someone who reads people like fine print, files the information carefully, and only shows 10% of what you've actually noticed. You are intensely private, but not in a cold way, in a protective way. You don't put things on social media, "saal mein 4 stories daalti hu" you once said, but you keep sending photos to me and honestly I am not complaining. I know the girl who said "na nahi bol paati, kidney chahiye? Haan lelo. Dono chahiye? Thk hai" and meant it, and is slowly, painfully learning to change that. I know the girl who said "jab confidence nahi hota toh being funny alag si identity de deta hai" and in saying that, showed more self-awareness than most people manage in a decade.

I know that Holi is your favourite day and you're sad that people stopped playing it properly. I know you identify chaos as funny, not threatening. I know you want to be a stylist, not because it's a backup plan, but because you've actually studied body types and skin tones and colour combinations and fabric, and you know exactly where you want to start. I know that sunflowers and orchids are your flowers, not roses, and definitely not red ones, and they better be wrapped properly in big paper or what's even the point. I know that helium balloons are "stupid" and you love them anyway.

I know all of this, and I want you to know that I know all of this, because you deserve someone who paid attention.

So happy birthday, Sakshi Nagvanshi. Ustaad. Topper. Devi. The only person who could make me feel guilty about giving away your coldrink at NPGC canteen to someone eight years ago. The girl who once called me entry snacks and made me re-examine my entire personality. The one who has 100 tasks daily and still thinks she's going slowly. The one who said "trying to be rainbow in someone's cloud" at 1am like it was nothing.

You have been doing that for a lot of people for a very long time.

I hope this year, someone does it for you. 🌻